How Kids Can Help Parents Struggling with Addiction: A Compassionate Guide
Welcome to part 1 of our series…
Here's how children can take meaningful steps to help while protecting their own well-being.
Understanding Addiction
Before offering help, it’s crucial to understand what addiction is—and what it isn’t. Addiction is a disease, not a choice or a moral failing. It alters the brain, leading to compulsive behaviors even when they cause harm. It’s important for children to grasp that their parent’s addiction is not their fault, and no single action they take will “fix” it. Understanding addiction as a medical and psychological condition is the foundation for building empathy and offering constructive support.
A Guide for Kids
For children, living with a parent who is struggling with addiction can be incredibly overwhelming. Many kids want to help but don’t know how or where to start. This article breaks down four key ways children can support their parents while also protecting their own well-being. Each section is full of practical tips to empower kids to navigate these difficult situations.
Step 1: Identify Trusted Adults
If a child does not feel like they can talk to their parent or other loved one about this on their own, then finding a trusted adult to help them is important. Choosing the right person to confide in can make all the difference. Trusted adults are approachable, empathetic, and able to help.
How to Identify Trusted Adults
Think About Everyday Interactions: Consider adults in your life who make you feel comfortable, such as a teacher who is always kind, a school counselor who listens without judgment, or a family member who has supported you in tough situations.
Choose Someone Who Can Take Action: Some adults might be understanding but may not be able to provide meaningful help. Look for someone who has the resources or authority to guide you, like a school counselor or a relative who can step in.
Avoid Adults Who May Dismiss Your Concerns: Be mindful of individuals who might not take your worries seriously. It’s important that the person you talk to validates your feelings and understands the importance of the situation.
Practical Tip
Create a list of three to five people you trust. Write down their names, phone numbers, and emails if possible. Keep this list somewhere private and safe so you can refer to it when you need support.
Step 2: Prepare for the Conversation
It’s natural to feel nervous about opening up about your parent’s addiction, especially if it’s the first time you’re sharing these feelings. Preparing ahead of time can make the process less intimidating.
How to Prepare
Write Down Key Points: Jot down the main things you want to say. This can help you organize your thoughts and stay on track during the conversation.
Practice in Private: Saying things out loud to yourself can help you feel more comfortable. You could also practice with a trusted sibling or friend or even in front of a mirror.
Start Small: If the idea of sharing everything feels overwhelming, start with one or two sentences to open up the discussion. You don’t need to share everything at once.
Practical Tip
Use a simple, direct approach to start the conversation. For example:
“I have something I’ve been worried about for a while, and I think I need help.”
“I’m worried about my parent/friend and don’t know what to do next.”
This can help break the ice and let the trusted adult know that you’re dealing with something serious.
Step 3: Stay Honest and Open
When sharing your concerns, honesty is key. The more open you can be, the easier it will be for the trusted adult to understand your situation and provide the right kind of support.
How to Stay Honest
Focus on Your Feelings: Use “I” statements to talk about your emotions instead of placing blame. For example:
“I feel scared when my parent/friend drinks too much.”
“I don’t feel safe when there’s yelling at home.”
Describe Specific Situations: If you feel comfortable, share examples of what’s happening at home. This can help the adult understand the seriousness of the situation.
Be Honest, but Don’t Feel Pressured to Share Everything: You can share only what feels right for you. It’s okay to hold back certain details if you’re not ready to talk about them.
Practical Tip
Think of one or two specific examples you’re comfortable sharing. For instance, “There are days when my parent drinks so much that they fall asleep, and I don’t know how to wake them up.”
Step 4: Ask for Support
Once you’ve opened up about your concerns, you must let the trusted adult know how they can help. This step can make the conversation feel more productive and actionable.
How to Ask for Help
Be Clear About What You Need: Consider what would help you the most. Do you need someone to just listen? Do you need help finding a support group? Or do you need them to step in and take action?
Feel Free to Be Specific: For example, you might say:
“Can you help me figure out how to talk to someone who can help my family/friend?”
“Can you tell my school counselor about this so they can help, too?”
Understand That It’s a Process: Support might not come all at once. The adult may need time to understand the situation or connect you with additional resources.
Practical Tip
If the adult offers help, be prepared to follow through. For example, if they suggest going to a counselor together, try to take that next step, even if it feels difficult. You’re not alone, and they’re there to guide you.
Why This Step Matters
Talking to a trusted adult might feel scary, but it can be the turning point that brings support, understanding, and solutions into your life. Remember, you are not alone, and there are people who care deeply about your well-being. You're taking a brave step toward a safer and healthier future by identifying the right adult, preparing yourself, staying honest, and asking for help.
For more information, help, and resources, please visit www.steeredstraight.org or call (856) 691-6676
Our mission is to steer youth straight toward making sound, rational decisions through a learning experience that provides a message of reality to help them make positive, informed choices.
